One of the ongoing challenges of writing.
The words sometimes come really easily. You sit at the keyboard or with a pen and paper, and BOOM there are words. Other times, this is far more challenging.
Even when you complete the work, sometimes it’s amazing awesomeness, and other times you’re like, “Really? Where did this garbage come from?”
Sometimes you find the words, and other times the words find you. And of course, at times, it’s really both.
There are lots of people for whom writing is a challenge. It’s unpleasant, and certain painful things like getting teeth pulled feel as if they may be more fun.
I used to think that anyone could write. But of course, that’s only partially true. Sure, anyone can write, but that doesn’t mean that they write well, or that they make much sense, or that they enjoy the process.
Some of the things I write feel really contrived. Like I am doing the work because it is my work, and even though it brings me joy it’s not always great work. There are plenty of times when the chore of writing has overwhelmed me, and I didn’t really want to go on with it.
Yet I persevere.
Childhood was the beginning of my relationship with words
I have a limited number of memories of my early childhood. Between about ages 6 and 12, there are just vague, fuzzy, half-memories. This is due to the divorce of my parents, and having very few friends at that period in my life. The local kids in my neighborhood, in hindsight, I think just tolerated me, really.
Much of my time was spent alone. I played in my backyard, went out on bike rides, and ran all kinds of cool adventures and new stories with my Star Wars toys. I developed elaborate stories and adventures to put the classic characters through, long before Lucas gave us more than the original trilogy.
As a child, I was one of those quiet, sensitive, creative kids. I wrote stories on my own. At age 9 I wrote Wildfire, a 50-page, illustrated sci-fi story. The premise? A mad scientist invented robots that the adults of the world allow to take control. As they grow fat and lazy, the kids rebel. They steal top-secret advanced weapons, create a hideout within the rock of the Grand Canyon, and attack the robots. In time, the lazy adults join the robots to stop the rebellion.
At the end of the story the hero defeats the mad scientist, gets the girl, and the kids – having destroyed all the robots and the fat and lazy adults – take back and rebuild the world.
As an adult, I seriously wonder what a child psychologist may have made of that story back then. How many 9-year-olds write stories that kill off all the adults so the kids take over the world? Creepy, maybe?
I still have the book around here somewhere. No, you won’t get to read the whole story, sorry.
Words words everywhere but not a story to tell
When I decided that I was going to write full-time almost 10 months ago, I set quite the challenge ahead of myself. I was already writing twice a week minimum for my own blog, now I was making it twice a day. How would the words find me so much more frequently?
I needn’t have worried. This is what I do. Words are my passion, my joy, and even when the topic is not one that I hold dear I still desire writing it.
Are you tired of me writing about writing? Numerous authors have written about the craft, and some of their books are personal while others are far more general. The process, like the individuals involved, is variable and changing and different for everyone. This is why some people find the words while the words sometimes find the people.
Not everything I write is great, nor is it all crap. Much of it, I suspect, just is. While this may speak to you, that may not.
Who am I writing for? I am writing for myself, and I am writing for you. The words need to get out of my head and onto the page or screen.
For all the stories and novels and articles I have shared and published, wow are there a lot of unfinished works. For example, I started a first-person “journal” that tells the story of the creation of the first hyperdrive in 2063 (I think that was the year I chose. Might be 2070.) I really should go back to it one of these days.
There are at least a half dozen half-started works on my computer. Will the words of those find me again, or remain unfinished? Only time will tell.
Mindfulness and gratitude
Determining who I am has been an ongoing process. Even knowing myself as well as I do now, there is still room for change. Further, change WILL happen because that’s the nature of life.
I share my words and my process with you because I believe that I have something to say of value. Further, if sharing what I do and have done can help you with your own practices, then I am achieving my true calling.
What may that be? To impact the world in a positive way. It is my desire to help people grow, accept and work with change, and open minds. Because the only person over whom I have any influence or control is myself, sharing myself and my process is the best way to do this.
I am deeply grateful to all the people and opportunities I have in my life. That I have had and continue to have the ability to write and share words and my mindfulness practice is something I wish not to take for granted.
Thank you for taking part in my ongoing journey. Thank you for joining me, and for inspiring me and my art.
Please take a moment to explore the rest of the website, which I am working to evolve and change for the better…much like I am doing for myself. Also, visit Awareness for Everyoneto check out my weekly podcasts.
This is the thirty-eighth entry of my personal writing blog. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published writing, which can be found here.
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