Attending Farpoint con this weekend will be a very new experience.
If you are reading this as it posts – I am in Hunt Valley, Maryland, attending the Farpoint con.
This is a sci-fi and fantasy convention featuring various vendors, performers, celebrities, discussion panels, and authors participating on those panels. Also, authors reading, selling, and signing books.
Guess what I am doing there?
I will be sitting on a couple of different panels, doing a reading from at least one of my books, and signing and selling books.
Despite a somewhat similar experience at the Steampunk World’s Faire several years ago, this is a new experience for me.
I can hardly CONtain my excitement (please note my terrible pun, now used twice). But it is that giddy feeling that’s a mix of genuine excitement, anticipation, and fear.
Because there is a truth that might – for many who know me – seem a little hard to believe.
I’m really quite shy
For real – despite the Meyers-Briggs test assertions that I am an extrovert – I’m not.
Part of why I’m a writer is because I have worlds in my head that I need to share. But also, my internal world is often even more populated than the world I live in.
I’ve always been a thinker. As a kid, I spent much of my time alone. I played by myself in my fenced-in backyard far more often than with the other kids in the neighborhood. There were a lot of different issues here – but the overarching theme was that I was good at self-entertaining. Also, it’s easy to avoid getting hurt when nobody is around to hurt you.
Fast forward to college. I chose to go halfway across the country alone. I was the only person from my High School to attend the college that I did. Thus, I arrived 1100 miles away from the life I’d lived for almost two decades on my own.
I took a huge step out of my comfort zone.
I managed to develop new friendships and gain a circle within the first 6 months or so of school. But not without many days mostly alone.
And then, I was introduced to the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). There I would find my geek tribe – and 30 years later most of my friends have come from there.
In the SCA, I created a persona – an alternate version of myself. Malcolm Bowman – my SCAdian identity – was a lot bolder than me. He wasn’t so shy, was a lot more willing to put himself forward and be extroverted and social.
After a lot of struggles, I shifted from being more-or-less two separate entities to who I am now. And that is what created the Meyers-Briggs extrovert.
New experience and the ambivert
Over the past decade or so, it’s become increasingly apparent to me that I am an ambivert.
What’s an ambivert? A person who identifies as a balance of both introverted and extroverted. A little of column ‘A’ and a little of column ‘B’.
What does that mean? It means that while I can be extremely extroverted – I am also very much in my own head and happy with some solitude.
This makes a lot of sense when you consider that writing is a solitary act. Even in a group or sitting at a café – you’re still doing the work on your own.
Funny thing is – I’m sure this has always been me. I acted in High School and college, was a DJ on both college radio stations, and in the SCA I have stood as the herald for the crown multiple times – which is some major public speaking in front of many.
Attending Farpoint is going to be a very new experience in multiple ways.
With the Steampunk World’s Faire, I was with a group. We were a costumed group of six attending together. Additionally, I had several friends that were there, too.
I am flying solo to Farpoint. And I am sitting on panels as well as at a table to sign and sell books. A friend or two might appear – and I can always call, text, or message someone if I feel overwhelmed.
Hence that odd sensation of excitement, uncertainty, terror, and expectation. I’m on my own – but I also get to meet new people. And in truth, I love making new friends.
New experience and the comfort zone
The only way to truly grow is to step outside of your comfort zone.
This, of course, is uncomfortable. There’s a reason why comfort zones are places of familiarity and reassurance. But they can also become a crutch preventing growth.
As the old proverb goes – familiarity breeds contempt. In time, because of human curiosity – we need to step out of our comfort zone. We need to have, find, or create a new experience to evolve and gain more experience in life.
Imagine if you lived for an entire lifetime – say 80 years – in one place. You only experienced that one home, the one set of people, the things in that home. Now imagine that you are comfortable there – and never choose to leave.
Even with the internet – does that sound as boring and unfulfilling to you as it does to me?
We live in a bigger world than one singular space – literal or metaphoric – can contain. And that’s why, to gain new insight and have a new experience, you need to step out of your comfort zone.
Thus – off to Farpoint I go
The excitement is greater than the uncertainty. Even with the still-ongoing pandemic (there is a mask requirement for ALL con activities) and Putin’s invasion of Ukraine – life is still happening. And the comfort of my comfort zone has bounds I need to break.
Farpoint is intended to be a first. There will be lessons about what to bring, how to dress, and more to be learned. But I’m looking forward to it.
Thank you for being part of my ongoing journey, for joining me, and for inspiring me and my craft.
This is the one-hundred and fiftieth article exploring the ongoing creative process. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published works, which can be found here.
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