Calling myself a writer is only the beginning.
As most of you know, I am a writer. I have been a writer for nearly four decades now. Sure, there were pauses in between, and there were times when I wasn’t writing along the way. But then I realized that writing is my calling.
In the beginning, my writing was all fictions. Sci-fi, fantasy, Steampunk, and even a few stabs at poetry and technothrillers.
After my accident, I started to see the world, and my life, very differently. It took a good decade or so to sink in, but then I started to work with this idea. There was more to life than I had originally opened myself to, and that would, in time, open my writing as well.
I have been journaling since my late teens. As I look over at my bookshelf, there are five full journals and a sixth that still gets used when I go hiking. The oldest is dated to 1992 – my sophomore year in college.
I don’t go back through these often, but when I do I am struck by who I used to be. There is a lot of writing about depression, anger, and feelings of insignificance and insufficiency. Lamentations of job situations, dating woes, and tons of negativity.
Yet a little more than seven years later, when faced with the single largest hurdle I have had to overcome in my life, I faced it with ZERO doubt, no possibility but total success and achievement, and positivity.
The muse is fickle in many ways
It would take almost a decade after my accident to begin to reclaim the energy and attitude that sped my recovery. I floundered through a number of relationships, sought aimlessly for job satisfaction that I couldn’t find, and lived a life of indecision and stunted emotions.
In my mid-thirties I encountered the best psychotherapist I have ever had the privilege to see. Eli was the first to recognize my ability to logically explain emotions without feeling them. We dug deep into who I used to be, how I got where I was, when I left my ability to really feel behind…and how to change that.
Yes, I know the notion of being closed to emotion might seem odd. As a six-year-old sensitive and smart kid, watching your parents’ divorce and blaming yourself will do that. I didn’t figure this out for three decades, and when I did it was amazingly eye-opening. What I realized was that blame is useless, so I didn’t get upset with my parents for not being able to see what was happening. I managed to fool professionals, too.
It was clear to me that being accountable for this was the best way to fix it. This would begin to influence my work as a writer.
In 2010 I began to blog. It was an occasional thing, and most of my early stuff is uninteresting, really. It was an extension of my journaling, but for public consumption. Prior to this, I had been keeping a LiveJournal (remember LiveJournal?) – but that was a very limited audience.
During this time period I was not writing a lot. I desired to write more, but I was not a writer. That, however, changed in 2012.
Actions are powerful
As a New Years’ Action, I started to blog weekly. This would begin Pathwalking, my philosophy on using mindfulness for conscious reality creation. What this allows is for you and me to build our lives as best we can, to make them as incredible as possible.
This, however, altered my writing further. Rather than just writing fiction, I began to write this inspirational, self-help stuff. At least, my hope is that this work inspires and helps people along the way.
I got my first opportunity to be published in a pirate and magic anthology called Rum and Runestones in 2011. This led to a second anthology of pirates and magic (my entry being the beginning of my Steampunk work, The Vapor Rogues), and I determined to begin self-publishing. In 2013 I turned the first year of Pathwalking into a book.
However, this caused me to have an internal debate about direction. Self-help/inspirational writer – or – sci-fi/fantasy writer? Create two personas to do both? I had already also published news articles on Patch.com under this name. In time I began to blog about this topic weekly, as I needed to sort out multiple-sides of one already complicated personality.
Over the next several years I began to write far more frequently. At long last, I began to identify myself as a writer. You may not think that’s a big deal, but it really is. Our jobs are not our identities, but they do have a lot of impact on how our lives go. Writing is not just a job to me, it is a joy.
More action, more opportunities for a writer
I love the written word. That is why, now that the Universe handed me a unique opportunity, rather than run from it or shy away, I am going for it. This is why I am finally writing every weekday.
Currently, I am blogging twice a week at The Ramblings of the Titanium Don. This focuses on Pathwalking and Positivity. Further, I am cross-posting those to Medium.com, where I am posting two blogs every weekday. Additionally, I am still working on my sci-fi epic, The Void Incursion series, which includes starting to edit book one – Points of Origin. And after too much procrastination, I am finally taking up work in Harbinger – Book 3 of The Source Chronicles.
This week I published You Are Amazing – How to Create a Kickass Life. This new self-help/inspirational book is available for Kindle, paperback, and as an audiobook on Audible. There is a follow-up already mostly done that I am looking to publish in the fall, tentatively titled You Are Even More Amazing – Further Ideas to Create a Kickass Life.
For too long I have not believed, really believed, that I could make a living as a writer. That belief has left me bouncing between jobs, and feeling overall pretty incomplete. Now, though, I am ready. I am moving forward, and I am writing, with a side order of writing, and for dessert I think I will have some writing.
This is my joy. Words are how I best express myself, and how I feel I can best help others out there, too. Your support is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading these words, and taking part in my ongoing journey.
Thank you for joining me.
Please take a moment to explore the rest of the website, which I am working to evolve and change for the better…much like I am doing for myself. Also, visit Awareness for Everyone to check out my bi-weekly podcasts.
This is the twenty-second entry of my personal blog. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published writing, which can be found here.
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