I’m Scared that I am Wrong

I might be wrong – but fear should not stop my pursuits.

If like me, you have chosen to pursue a creative endeavor – you know how scary this can be sometimes.

There are certain boxes that society prefers people fit into. They include career choice, class, race, family type, and so on.

When it comes to careers, the boxes tend to be all about the conventional. Office worker, doctor, lawyer, teacher, and so on.

If you choose creative of any sort – that tends to ignore the boxes.

There are some forms of creative work that do get boxed in that way. Graphic artists, copywriters and editors working for digital and print companies, for example.

But creatives who write novels, create paintings and sculptures, actors, singers, and so on break the molds in their pursuit. The boxes are not clearly defined.

When you make that choice – and pursue your art – there can be constant, nagging feelings that you are wrong.

Choosing to be a creative of this sort is fraught with challenges. What if I am wrong? What will happen? How will I make my living?

All valid questions. But fear of this nature is a product of the ego. Why? Because to succeed in these endeavors you must work outside those boxes and fight the norm and the comfort zone it represents.

The ego and the comfort zone

Before I dive into this, allow me to clarify what I mean by “ego”. This is the psychological interpretation of ego – the general sense of self each of us has.

The ego is your conscious awareness of life, the Universe, and everything. But it is thoroughly tied into the habits, values, and beliefs of your subconscious self.

Between the conscious and the subconscious, the ego is the bridge. And you are only aware of that if you are mindful and consciously aware.

That awareness will help you recognize and see the comfort zones you exist within.

What’s a comfort zone? It’s the familiar things, places, situations, and the like – both material and immaterial – that you hold close.

This can include homes, pens, jobs, people, places, things, and general concepts that are familiar and provide you comfort.

We love to be comfortable. Hence why we have air conditioning and heating, soft fabrics, showers, tasty foods, and the like. But this extends past the physical into that sensation of familiarity.

The ego, because it exists inside both the conscious and subconscious, wants us to be comfortable. Thus, when you make a choice that can pull you out of the comfort zone – the ego creates fear.

All the “what if” questions that come to mind from your choices get spun towards how much you might be pulled from your comfort zone – and subsequently suffer.

That, in turn, can be super scary.

Hence why I am scared that I might be wrong.

How is wrong defined?

Making a living as a writer is a challenge.

I am doing all the things necessary to make this happen. There is daily writing, my catalog is being increased, and I’m putting time, effort, and money into marketing.

Because I am self-published, everything is on me. I must arrange all the elements to make this thing fly or not.

I know I can make a living via my creative works. But it’s not easy – and because it takes time to see the results – it can be scary in the meantime.

Hence where the notion of “wrong” comes in. I believe in my abilities and skills as a writer to make this fly.

However, I am up against the boxes of society, well-meaning people questioning if this is worthwhile, and my own subconscious fears and doubts. Up against these, the notion of seeking to make my way as a creative appears to have an element of wrong to it.

But realistically, there is nothing wrong here. I’m scared that I’m wrong because I know I am not living up to the expectations of others – both known and unknown, familiar and unfamiliar. This places me outside of my given comfort zone.

And stepping out of comfort zones is uncomfortable.

But in the words of Brianna Wiest,

“It’s normal to be uncomfortable.”

What does that mean? It means that choosing to go against the norm and strike out of comfort zones is perfectly normal.

If people existed solely inside their comfort zone, we’d have no progress. Tons of people were skeptical of the Wright brothers and their belief in a powered flight. But here we are, almost 120 years later, and commercial aviation is commonplace.

Wrong, in this context, is defined as how you feel when stepping outside a comfort zone.

I am not wrong and won’t be defined by fear

Choosing the creative path is not the norm. Thus, it’s scary, challenging, and sometimes disconcerting.

Ergo, the notion of wrong in this instance is entirely based on fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of success. Ultimately, for me, fear of abandonment.

Nothing is more uncomfortable than fearing being abandoned and kicked out of the tribe. For me, that’s my dominant fear when it comes to the notion of being wrong. If I am wrong, and I choose poorly, in time I’ll be discarded and thrown out.

But that’s not how it works. Everyone chooses their life choices, whether consciously or subconsciously. We each also decide to choose if we will work inside society’s boxes or outside of them.

We each get one body, one chance to exist and experience life in this world. So long as we live, there are always choices and options.

My current choice is to pursue my writing and make my living from that. If that choice is wrong – then I can always make another. And if that choice proves to be wrong – I can choose yet again.

So long as I live and breathe – there are choices and options. Even if I choose wrong – I can choose again.

I might be wrong – but fear should not stop my pursuits. I have stories to tell and ideas to share. Doing so is what makes me happy, and I believe that it’s the pursuit I should maintain.

If, like me, you have chosen to pursue a creative endeavor – you know how scary this can be sometimes. Is it worth it? Given that we have one opportunity to experience life in this time and place we occupy – hell yes.