I Am Me - What Does That Mean? - MJ Blehart

I am me. And that’s all that matters, really.

It has taken me a long time to understand what this means. A lot of my life I have spent unsure of just what this amounts to. Lots of time inside my own head.

There are a lot of different factors that go into how I identify myself. Many of them are based on outside perspective coloring how I present myself.

I’ve always been an oddity, in more ways than one. Granted, nobody is actually entirely “normal”, per se, but that’s a whole other conversation. A lot of writers have been known to be introverts…but most that I admire, and strive to emulate, are more extroverted. Neil Gaiman, Paulo Coelho, and Jen Sincero, for example. Even if they are not true extroverts, they do a lot with putting themselves out there to a wider audience.

More than ever before, I am me. Coming to terms with that has been an up and down, frequently mind-boggling adventure, mixed with good days and bad.

I had something of an epiphany the other day. Went to fencing practice. My friends, being their usual goofy selves, teased me about my facial hair.

This is lame, but I am sharing anyhow. While I have friends who can grow any form of facial hair they might desire, I tend to only need to shave about twice a week. In fact, it was not until ten years ago that I was able to sport facial hair beyond a shadow after a week. However, once I could grow a Van Dyke beard, I’ve not shaved it off.

I like this look, and have for a decade. But I am letting more beard grow in. Because facial hair on me is odd, it’s currently a bit patchy. Hence the teasing.

What I am me means to me.

It was a good natured ribbing, and I took it in stride. I agreed that, yes, it’s looking a bit patchy right now…I should give up and shave it back to my regular style.

Then I thought about it. Why am I giving in to peer pressure? If I am me, why does it matter? Does this experiment make me happy? Yes, yes it does.

SO – since what matters most is me being me, I have decided I am continuing my experiment in facial hair growth, and to hell with what anybody else thinks about it. *blows a raspberry at you*.

Why was this an epiphany? Because while I write about consciousness creating reality a lot, and how important it is to work from the inside rather than the outside, I still tend to not heed my own words. Outside influences influence me. When I decided to ignore this, it felt really good. Very freeing.

I replaced my car recently. This is something I have been wanting to do for more than a year. I got exactly what I wanted, and am in love with my new wheels. However, for a whole host of reasons, I expected disapproval from my family. As such, I have not made any public statement on social media, or shown pictures of the new hotness.

For a lot of reasons, hiding my new car from the family was going to be easy. We usually take my wife’s car to things we do with them. But, with this new epiphany, I decided I don’t care what they think. I am me. I am excited by this purchase.

At Thanksgiving dinner I expressed gratitude for being able to get my new car, to my family. Turns out, it went well, and it felt good.

I am me. The only me that there is.

If you follow my blog or my podcast, you know that I am striving to improve upon who I am. I am working on making changes to manifest the reality I most desire for myself. As a writer, one thing I want to do is get my work out there more, and make my living off it.

I am me As we are at the start of the holiday season, I decided to create a sale for Cyber Monday. Next week, both Seeker and Finder for the Kindle will be on sale. If you have not gotten a copy, or want a great fantasy read for your friends and loved ones, I think it would be a most excellent gift!

Also, I am putting my Steampunk novel, Clouds of Authority on sale for Cyber Monday as well.

Shameless self-promotion! Well, I am me…this is MY website…and there is nothing wrong with this.

Working still on editing You are Amazing and writing the unnamed sci-fi novel. Projects that matter a lot to me. I took another year off from working in a NaNoWriMo project, though I think I need to get into one of these next year.

Anyhow, because I am me, it is important to me to let you know how much I appreciate you. Thank you for reading these words, and taking part in my ongoing journey. Thank you for joining me.

Please take a moment to explore the rest of the website, which I am working to evolve and change for the better…much like I am doing for myself. Also, visit Awareness for Everyone to check out my bi-weekly podcasts.

This is the ninth entry of my personal blog. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published writing, which can be found here.

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