Getting Comfortable with Getting Uncomfortable

Leaving the norm behind and stepping out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable.

Since college, I have held a LOT of different jobs.

I have been an administrative assistant, tech support for two different companies doing four different types of support, benefits administration, sales, retail management, paralegal, marketing assistant, IT manager, and all-around guy-Friday. For more than 20 years, I worked for companies from less than five employees to massive international corporations.

For a long time, due to my inability to commit (not just to relationships), I bounced around a lot. I believed, then, that I was always looking for the greener grass on the other side.

But now, I am more convinced I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Because of my inability to commit, I lacked the ambition to truly pursue…well, anything. That’s why my 20s and 30s are littered with a variety of jobs, failed relationships, different homes, and all evidence of someone who couldn’t get comfortable.

Ironically, I believe I was comfortable in my discomfort. But now, having reconciled with who I believe I am – it’s going to be about getting comfortable with getting uncomfortable.

Accepting the uncomfortable

One of the reasons anyone chooses the career that they do is to create their comfort zone. Society will tell you that – for the most part – this looks like a 9-5 job, owning a home, getting married, accepting that you live to work until you get to retire.

Maybe for you, that works. I learned, long ago, that it doesn’t work for me. Which I should have realized in High School and College.

I started college with no degree program. But after my first semester, I chose a BA in Drama program. Like me, this was a huge generality. No focus on acting, tech support, house management, or any other aspect of theatre. Just a general degree in it.

I wound up spending most of my time in the radio station at my college. I LOVED being a DJ. I even got to spend a summer and winter break PAID to keep the college station running.

Like theatre, radio was something of an art. And as I have been told repeatedly by family and society – the arts don’t pay.

Thus, after college, I sought more mundane work. Yet I kept not being able to find satisfaction in the non-artistic, non-creative gigs I kept taking. And because I swapped out jobs about every 2 years – I kept resetting my salary expectations.

Better paying gigs didn’t satisfy me. It wasn’t until I started to focus on working with one of my artistic skills that I began to see what I desired work to look like.

But that meant accepting some uncomfortable truths and reality. Not uncomfortable because I’m wearing itchy material or being stuck with needles – uncomfortable because I am bucking the norm.

Know your comfort zone

One of the more ironic aspects of my vagabond lifestyle was that I didn’t know what my comfort zone would look like. I had a vague idea based on the expectations of those around me – but I didn’t know myself.

When I began to work more with self-improvement and self-awareness, I started to understand what MY comfort zone was. What it looked like and how it looked began to become clear. And I saw that forcing my square-peg self into that round hole would not work.

I began to pursue employment doing more creative things I liked. What’s more, I gave my writing – both fiction and nonfiction – more time and attention. When I got a job as a copy editor, it was the first time that I felt that I was doing something appropriate to my comfort zone.

Since then, other jobs I have taken have involved writing or editing. Whether it’s articles, blogs, or websites – the creative is what makes me happy. That is what puts me in my comfort zone.

I know what it looks like and what it feels like. But I also know that it’s not where I desire to stay permanently.

Human beings have an utterly unique capacity for critical thinking no other animal on the planet possesses. This is why we can live in all environments on the planet and communicate instantly with one another no matter the distance between us.

Our comfort zones tend to be made of a combination of inner expectations and outside expectations. Society has an image of who you are and what you do. When you choose to pursue something different or unusual it will garner a reaction – and that is going to make you uncomfortable.

Choosing your work

There are a lot of writers out there. Many write one specific genre. Others, like me, shift around a bunch and write not only different genres but different types.

The differences between writing sci-fi/fantasy, nonfiction, for business, and content creation for websites is vast. Each of these is a broad concept and notion with a lot of space for many different ways.

For me, I love all of them because they each offer unique modes of creativity. Even within these, I do different things. My sci-fi works are in different realities. The fantasy I write is variable. In nonfiction, I write about mindfulness/self-awareness/conscious reality creation – as well as articles such as this one about the writing process/business/practice. I love playing in WordPress to create and alter websites.

When I am being creative, I tend to lose track of time. It’s pretty awesome – which is why I believe this is the work that’s right for me.

But it’s not always comfortable. For example, conversations with my mom get uncomfortable because – out of love – she’s concerned I won’t have retirement savings. She worries I am not considering the future – and I am closing in on 50.

When she expresses her discomfort, it makes me uncomfortable. But then, I must remind myself – this is my life. I know who I am presently and who I desire to be. And I know I am a writer.

I am working more to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because I suspect – even with greater success and better book sales – my mom will still worry. But that’s her nature – and I love her and know she loves me.

The only way to grow in this life is to leave your comfort zone behind. That means you will have to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable.

You will, in the process, find a new comfort zone. But in time, since humans grow, learn, and evolve – you’ll need to repeat the process.

You HAVE done it before. It was subtler when you started kindergarten, changed schools for middle school, changed schools again for high school, and moved out on your own as an adult. It’s important to remember that feeling uncomfortable that comes with these changes always passes.

I have chosen an unconventional career path for myself. It is one of challenges, and standing against both external and internal resistance. But I believe in it, and that this is who I desire to be and where I desire to go.

So, when discomfort settles in – I need to be comfortable with that. The more I can get comfortable with being uncomfortable, the more I can be the one in charge of my life and all I desire for it to be.

Leaving the norm behind and stepping out of your comfort zone can be uncomfortable. But if doing so is true to and for you – then go for it – and know you’re not alone. Kick ass and take names.

Thank you for being part of my ongoing journey, for joining me, and for inspiring me and my craft.

This is the ninety-fourth article exploring the ongoing creative process. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published works, which can be found here.

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