Even as a Creative – I am Not My Job - MJ Blehart

There is more to me than being a creative. Sometimes I need to remind myself.

I love being a writer. This is the thing I have always believed I was meant to do in this world.

But being a writer – like any other job – is not the whole picture.

There is far more to me than just being a writer. It’s only one aspect of my comprehensive self.

For some, identifying with their job overall is a thing. Teachers, doctors, lawyers, athletes, etc. I think one reason for this is because of how much time and effort goes into acquiring those jobs.

For creatives, it’s just as easy to go down this same rabbit hole. Writers, painters, sculptors, actors, singers, and so forth are mostly known for the creative thing they do.

But even as a creative – I am not my job. There is a lot more to me than just being a writer and producing blogs, books, and other material.

This is an important thing to remember. Everyone is multifaceted.

Why is this important? Because putting too much of my attention into this single aspect of who I am can cause neglect of other important elements. That can cause imbalance and lots of other conscious and subconscious issues – which might become distracting. Those distractions can lead to confusion, inaction, and even self-sabotage.

This is why mindfulness and self-knowledge are empowering. When I know myself I can take control to direct my life how I desire for it to be.

Who am I?

To all intents and purposes, I have four identities.

First, I am Murray J Blehart – husband, son, thumb-monkey to 2 cats, amateur photographer, scooper of litter boxes, meditator, Introspective ambivert.

Second, I am Murray “MJ” Blehart – writer of nonfiction about the ongoing creative process, mindfulness, positivity, philosophy, conscious reality creation, and more. Arguably, my podcast falls here, too. Extrovert.

Third, I am MJ Blehart – author of sci-fi, fantasy, and Steampunk novels. Ambivert.

Fourth, I am Malcolm Bowman – medieval reenactor, rapier combatant (fencer) and teacher, voice herald, occasional archer, and frequent community leader. Extrovert.

Right there, if two out of four of my “identities” have nothing to do with writing – I am not my job. Granted, the division between the 4 self-identities is not 25% each. But it’s still indicative of the idea.

Between writing, I love to spend time with my wife and cats, hang out with friends and family, attend fencing practices and events, go for walks, take pics, cook and eat meals, and more.

Why is it important to remember that I am not my job? Because pinning my success and wellbeing on my job is one-dimensional.

There is so much else to me that basing my self-image and self-worth on my creative abilities can cause neglect of the other elements of my life.

There is a price to be paid for tunnel vision.

When my focus was on what didn’t matter

Because of my deep-seated fear of abandonment, creating and nurturing things that gave me a connection to other people often overran other elements of my life.

That’s why, for a time in my late 20s and early 30s, I strived to be Malcolm Bowman as much as I possibly could.

Everything was about the medieval reenactment society. That was more important to me than anything else I was doing. Not for rewards and accolades – though I got a few – but for the connections and feeling of belonging. Satisfying and alleviating my fear of abandonment.

To spend as much time as I could in that single identity, I attended multiple fencing practices a week, workshops and gatherings related to activities on weeknights, and weekends at or traveling to and from events. Though not an expensive hobby overall – it does add up.

But it also overruled other aspects of my life. I quit a job so I could go to an annual 2-week event in August. For multiple years with various jobs, I took 7-10 days of unpaid time off for that event and unpaid Fridays off for others.

Malcolm Bowman – a persona of my own creation in a medieval reenactment world – was who I spent the most time being. I got lost in my persona.

When I finally came to see this for what it was, I realized I needed to adjust it. My life couldn’t be all about escaping to the small, limited reenactment society. Sure, to this day I am still very much part of it – but that’s not who I am nor who I have been in some time. At least, not in total.

Balance matters. That’s why – even as a creative – I am not my job.

Being a creative can cross all lines

I think it’s fair to write that I am a creative within every one of my identities. With Murray “MJ” and MJ that’s obvious in the writing. It’s less so with Murray – but turn me loose with some ingredients in the kitchen and I will cook something interesting. With Malcolm – running court is the only time I make use of my theatre degree. And I even sometimes write scroll (award) texts in that persona.

There are times that uncreative things must be done. I need to vacuum the carpets, dust the shelves, wash the dishes, and do other uncreative activities. Sure, I can find a creative way to do them – but that’s still unrelated to my job as a creative.

We are always faced with choices every day to live with intent or by rote, to create or destroy, and to choose this, that, or the other thing for ourselves.

I do creative things in all 4 of my identities because that’s part of what I love doing. Making and creating things tangible or intangible brings me joy. So even when it’s not my job – I am a creator.

But there are times that takes a backseat to other matters and happenings. And even creatives struggle.

Challenges for a creative

One reason I share my ideas about the ongoing process is that I know I’m not alone in this. There are lots of other creatives that – though different from me – share the same struggles. And people who are not creatives by trade often don’t see it.

You’re making art/writing books/acting in movies – doesn’t that mean you’ve chosen to pursue your passion? Doesn’t that mean you’re always happy? I know that I am more satisfied with my life overall in pursuit of my art – but I am not always happy.

Truth is – NOBODY IS ALWAYS HAPPY.

Being a creative is still work. Now that I have taken up writing as a planner rather than a pantser with my fiction – I’m spending a lot of time outlining before writing the actual book. After that, I must edit it. Then repeat that when my editor sends it back to me. Once that’s done, I need to do formatting for paperback and Kindle. Then publish. Then promote.

Do you know why TV and film actors have stand-ins? Because while the director and cinematographer are working out the shot, they need to have someone stand there for the time it takes. THEN the actor gets to work it out – which can be a lengthy process including multiple takes and retakes, alternate angles, and more. They don’t just appear and deliver lines – there is so much more that goes into it.

All creatives have challenges. And for all creatives, we are not our jobs alone. But when we forget this, we can get lost and off-balance like anyone else.

There is more to me than being a creative. Sometimes I need to remind myself so that I can make the time for the other things in life I have and do outside of writing.