Do It For You

Make the art, create the recipe, write the book, pursue the creativity – do it for you.

Sometimes I doubt myself.

I began writing fiction – mostly sci-fi and fantasy – when I was nine. In fits and starts, I continued to write over the years. Then, not long ago, I started to write full-time.

I am very, very fortunate that I am in a situation where I can do this. It brings me so much joy to be able to spend my days writing.

Whether it’s my daily blogs on mindfulness, conscious reality creation, positivity, self-care, the ongoing creative process – or sci-fi, fantasy, Steampunk, and other fictions – writing is my jam. Taking an idea from inside my head and putting it on the page or screen feels genuine and true to who I am.

While it’s my goal to get more readers on Medium and sell more books and audiobooks on Amazon – I am doing this for me, first.

I share ideas and fantastical worlds because I believe they can inspire, empower, and otherwise be of use to others. But first and foremost, I do it for myself.

How is that not selfish? Because when I practice my art, I am being authentic and true to myself. That means I am being my most authentic, most centered self.

In the process, I am not taking anything away from anyone else. Nor am I denying someone something. I’m not causing harm or hurt to anyone by taking all the slices of the pie and leaving nothing for anyone else.

Selfish vs self-care

When I do it for me – or you do it for you – that should not be with malice of forethought for pain, suffering, hurt, or harm to others. It’s not selfish to practice self-care or put yourself first.

But the idea of selfishness has become broad and all-encompassing. What’s more, we frequently take responsibility for the feelings other people experience.

I plan to attend my first con since the Steampunk World’s Faire as an author and presenter in February. This means I might have to skip out on an event in my medieval reenactment society.

As I strive to expand my reach, I intend to hit more cons. Which will take me away from my hobby. That, in turn, could cause people to feel abandoned by me, maybe even hurt.

That’s outside of my control. I’m not actively taking anything away from anyone nor doing anything hurtful or harmful. But it might still be perceived as such.

Is it selfish of me to do this for me? I don’t believe so. Might people feel hurt because of it and accuse me of being selfish? Possibly.

But I’m not denying anyone their rights, their own good, or otherwise taking something away from them. Ergo – this is not selfish.

When you look at true selfishness – it comes down to intent. It’s about taking and leaving nothing for anyone else. There is a big difference between giving differently and taking.

The power of being true to you

We live in a fear-based society. What’s more, over the past several decades, a great deal of energy has gone into creating lots of artificial lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

Many people are convinced they are victims because of this. What’s more, they’re convinced anyone who doesn’t join their victim mentality is their opposition. Hence, the divides between us are getting exploited and widened by a select few via gaslighting, false-populist movements, and outright lies supported by propaganda machines.

It’s too easy to get caught up in that. Before you know it, your own life has taken a back seat to things that you have no true control over. You don’t do it for you – you do it for the perception others have of you.

Because I wanted to be liked, I did this a lot when I was younger. It was more important to me to be well-regarded than to be true to me.

The effect of this on me was that I got lost. That caused psychological issues that manifested in constant wanting, never feeling good enough, seeing always greener grass other than where I was, and so on. I spent a lot of my life trying to fit in with jobs, relationships, and other matters that were less for me than for the impression I made on others.

When I came to terms with this and saw it for what it was – I saw how much more empowered I was by being true to myself. It caused me to stop looking outside of myself for validation. I found that I was more centered, more content, and feeling better about myself overall when I started being true and genuine to myself.

What is true for me is not going to be true for you. My true self and your true self are not the same.

When I began to do it for me – in my case, focus on my writing – I started to feel better overall. Life became more colorful, felt brighter with more possibilities and potential, and overall worthwhile.

When you do it for you, that’s going to be about you. Maybe it’s an art you desire to pursue. It could be a relationship you’d like to start or end. Perhaps the field you are in makes you miserable and it’s time to seek out a new one.

No, this is not easy. This, to some, will look like you’re spitting in the face of the status quo and collective consciousness. To others, this may appear selfish. To do it for you, you might need to change your approach, your habits, beliefs, and values. There are people you may lose along the way, too.

If you are a parent, caretaker of an elderly relative, or run a business with employees under you – that’s going to alter what doing it for you will look like. When you can’t just abandon the life you have now to be true to yourself, you can find workarounds and ways to be more genuine and true. Then, you can give from a balanced, centered, and frankly more generous place.

But when you do it for you, you become empowered. Even if you can only do it part-time – it’s still empowering to be true and authentic to yourself, your art, your creativity, and all other aspects that make you, you.

Professionally or as a hobby – make the art, create the recipe, write the book, pursue the creativity.