It is often difficult to believe in yourself. But you should.
I started writing when I was 9 years old.
The sci-fi story I wrote and illustrated – Wildfire – meant a lot to me. I believed in the work I did so much that I tried to get it published.
My dad helped me with this. To this day, I have both the original manuscript I handwrote and illustrated – as well as a bound, color-copied, and typed version dad got made for me.
In that bound copy is my first ever rejection from a publisher. But it’s not harsh nor negative – it’s encouraging.
I continued writing. At 13, I typed my first sci-fi novel – 36 single-spaced pages – The Secret Computer World. It was clearly inspired by Tron (and written in 1984 or so – which makes sense.) The story was all about a kid getting zapped into a secret computer world but coming out of it more confident and better for the experience.
Writing went on over the years in more fits and spurts. I have about four unfinished works from this period.
But then I started The Source Chronicles. It began as a scene, followed by another and another, before evolving into a multi-novel fantasy series.
Both before and after having Seeker professionally edited, I sought representation. I sent queries to numerous agents and publishers. In response, I got multiple rejections both form letter and personal.
Despite the rejections, I still believed in myself and my art. But I can’t say it didn’t sting, nor cause me to question if I should continue.
But there are always more stories to tell in my head. With the way publishing has evolved and changed over the years I’ve begun self-publishing. What’s more, rather than writing as a beloved hobby – it’s my career path.
Some days it’s a very trying path.
Lots of reasons to disbelieve
Anyone who works in the arts will tell you it’s fraught with challenges.
Whether you’re an actor, writer, singer, painter, chef, or what-have-you – the choice you made to pursue that goes against the societal norm. Thus, you are often bombarded by concern from well-meaning friends and family who can’t fathom the choices you’ve made.
That concern can wear on you. Well-meaning or not, people telling you that your choices are complicated and that they can’t understand them is going to impact you.
When the doubts of others – particularly those you care about – are heaped upon you, that can spur your own doubts. And choosing to pursue the arts and creative work is often most challenging because of this.
People concerned about your ability to earn a decent living, have money to save for retirement, afford the trappings of a consumerist society, and the like will share their concerns. A lot. Though often well-meaning, there is clear disbelief coming from them.
When you face disbelief – especially from people who care about you – it can cause you to stop being able to believe in yourself.
Another factor of disbelief in your abilities comes from how your work is received. If the sales are not meeting your expectations and/or you’re not getting a decent ROI (return on investment), that can be nightmare fuel. When you are not seeing commercial success, that creates doubt which can lead to a lack of belief in yourself, your abilities, and your art.
Just to add one more fun layer – if, like me, you have depression, anxiety, or any mental health issues – believing in yourself is that much more challenging.
But like most things in life – this is a choice.
Reasons to believe in yourself
You have a gift. A talent. To you, it probably feels like it’s no big deal. But the truth is that you have it and it matters.
I find writing incredibly easy. No matter the topic, I can usually write something about it. This has been utilized over the years in business when I was asked to write press releases, ads, website content, and brochure information.
Can’t everyone do this? Maybe to one degree or another. But as my friend who is an excellent writer in her own right once pointed out – she could write it in several hours – or have me do it in a matter of minutes. I am not faster because the quality is less – it just comes much easier to me than it does to her.
So, no, not everyone can do this. At least, not like I can.
And that is true of you and your abilities, too. Whether you know your talents and skills or not – there are things that you can do that seem common and easy to you – but amazing to others.
For example – with no recipe, my wife can mix flour, salt, water, and other ingredients to create amazing dough for bread and pastries. She’s really, really good at this. I could, with instructions, also create dough – but it would take twice as long or more – and bring me less joy than it brings her.
Whatever you do – you have talent, skill, and ability. Creative endeavors or otherwise, you can do amazing things.
Sometimes, though, this is hard to believe. And as such you don’t believe in yourself.
Some of that disbelief comes as much – if not more – from within as without. You don’t believe in yourself.
Mindfulness to believe in yourself
In my experience, this comes from old, untrue beliefs, combined with fears and disbelief that I am worthy and deserving of success in my artistic pursuits.
What do I do to combat that? Practice practical mindfulness.
This is not some weird hooky-spooky idea. It’s all about being consciously aware of your mindset/headspace/psyche self.
In our society, it’s easy to get distracted and pulled away from ourselves. Thus, we don’t live mindfully and move through life half-awake.
What that means is that most people just live subconsciously by rote and routine. Then they wonder why life isn’t how they’d prefer it to be. And, when you are living subconsciously, it’s hard to believe in yourself because you’re not consciously aware.
Mindfulness is conscious awareness not just of input from your 6 senses, but also your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. To engage this, all you need to do is ask questions like:
- What am I thinking?
- How am I feeling?
- What am I feeling?
- What am I doing and why am I doing it?
These and similar questions put you in the here-and-now. Present, in this moment, makes you mindful. That, in turn, opens you to connect with your subconscious self.
When you can access your subconscious mind you access your beliefs, values, and habits. Which is where belief in yourself lies.
Hence, using mindfulness, you gain the ability to create greater belief in yourself. Then, you can believe in yourself and your art – and make the most of your creative pursuits.
Is it that easy? Yes and no. Recognizing your skills, talents, values, and beliefs is one thing. There is also the question of worth.
Am I worthy and deserving?
Yes, you are. Why? Because we are all here for a reason.
Everyone has what author John Strelecky calls a PFE – Purpose for Existing. Most creative types in pursuit of their art know that that is our PFE.
Still, even when in pursuit of living your purpose for existing, doubt will nag you both from within and without. Thus, you get to choose to pursue – or not.
You have the gifts you have. And you have a purpose for your life. If you know it and are pursuing it – you are worthy and deserving of it.
Believe in your worth. Believe you are deserving. And then, from that, believe in yourself. Mindfulness of your present where, what, how, why, and who – in the here-and-now – helps bring clarity to those.
Are you worthy and deserving? Absolutely. Believe in yourself and your purpose for existing and follow where that leads.
I believe in you. Really, truly, I do.
Make your art. Create with joy. Kick ass, take names. Believe in yourself.
Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published works, which can be found here.
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