Of course I am! Life is all about reevaluating, rebranding, and resolving.
Today I made an unintended statement that resonates with me quite a lot.
Self-awareness is not a constant. Because it shifts so readily and frequently – it requires regular check-ins.
It doesn’t matter what you do – doctor, lawyer, merchant-chief, artist, teacher, whatever. Like all other aspects of ourselves, the awareness of our career identities is going to change.
Why? Because change is the only constant in the entire Universe.
The irony of this truth is that we humans tend to be resistant to and afraid of change. That’s because we seek comfort and familiarity as elements of our perceived stability.
This is easier to reconcile for some people than for others. And it also can cause people to be judgmental of you and your choices in a way that contributes to complications in achieving comfort.
When you choose to take paths that are not “normal” or “common” for your life, this presents multiple additional challenges. Part of this is negotiating not just outside perceptions – but also challenges with more frequent discomfort.
This can be a cause for reevaluating, rebranding, and resolving anew.
However, when doing so – it’s important to determine if you are choosing for yourself or working on how others perceive you.
Which is what I am looking at right now.
Perception is fleeting and funky
No two people see reality in the same way. All of us have our own view of reality.
For good or for ill – that’s the truth. And then, sometimes, when our realities clash, we have conflict.
No conflict with anyone else is greater than conflict within ourselves.
What in the hell am I talking about here? Allow me to share.
Presently, I have 3 different jobs. The specifics are not necessary – but for ease of explanation, each serves a very different purpose in my life.
Job 1 – My writing and author branding
Job 2 – An enigma where I see lots of potential that I began doing just for the money
Job 3 – Something I started doing just for the money that has been unexpectedly expanded
Ideally, Job 1 is my career. I am striving to work out new ways to make it my primary moneymaker. This, of course, is where the rebranding comes in again.
Job 2 has provided me with resources that I didn’t expect, and some new perspectives that I think might have a long-term impact on Job 1, too.
I like Job 3 and the people I work with. But I need to be honest – I am mostly sticking with it for the money.
Because there are bills to pay. While Job 1 is where I desire to give most of my time and energy, the ROI has not been what I need to pay the bills.
Oh, look – money again. Finances. Nothing in my life causes me to have more issues with how I perceive myself and feel like others perceive me than money. And because Job 1 is unconventional – it’s that much more of a challenge.
The biggest challenge therein is in me.
This is familiar.
Reevaluating, rebranding, and resolving
More than once, I have been here. Reevaluating what I am doing. Rebranding my business model in some way or other. Resolving conflict both within and without.
If you expected resolving to be more along the lines of New Year’s Resolutions, you’d be mistaken. Given my expressed dislike of the over-softness and inaction of those types of resolutions, resolving for me is more actionable.
In other words – seeing and finding the place between the needful and desirable.
Do I need to earn money to pay my bills? Of course I do – I am a responsible adult. But the means to the end has been causing stress and I need to better resolve this.
Reevaluating
Job 1 is getting too little attention just now. I am completely off my planned publishing schedule for this year.
However – that’s not just because I’ve been spending less time on my writing. Spending less time on my writing is an act of self-sabotage because I’m having a hard time facing a certain truth.
I spent a LOT more money in 2021 to edit and acquire covers for the 6 books I published than I have made back. The ROI is lacking. And that has opened all sorts of doubt and second-guessing on my part.
I took jobs 2 and 3 because of this. And I began to question if I am kidding myself about Job 1.
Via reevaluating, I know that Job 1 IS where I desire my focus to go. And I am taking steps to do some rebranding to meet that desire and get me where I am striving to be.
Rebranding
What will that look like? That’s still up for grabs – but I can tell you it’s going to take on 2 definite new elements.
The first is something I’ve always wanted to make of my career – more public speaking. Despite self-doubt about what I have some knowledge in – that I could speak about – a new resource disagrees and thinks I can do a lot with this.
The second is more forays into Web3, the Metaverse, NFTs, and new tech. And without Job 2, this would not even have made my radar. But I feel rather strongly that there’s a huge amount of potential and possibility in this new tech. So that will be part of my rebranding going forward.
Resolving
This is the most challenging element. I know where I desire to be. And where I have been has influenced that. But now, at this time, I need to be clearer about where I am.
I’ve been writing a lot about self-sabotage because I recently read Gary John Bishop’s Stop Doing that Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back and reread his Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. Both address the same things – taking charge of my life. And both are speaking to me in a similar, blunt way.
Mr. Bishop offers the following personal assertions:
- I am willing
- I am wired to win
- I got this
- I embrace the uncertainty
- I am not my thoughts, I am what I do
- I am relentless
- I expect nothing and accept everything
All 7 of these speak to me loudly and clearly. And taking them in – I am working on applying them to resolve my conflicts between the needful and desirable. That will let me choose myself.
Reevaluating, rebranding, and resolving anew
Going through this process – again – is a bit frustrating. But you know what? That’s life.
As I said at the beginning – self-awareness is not a constant. Because it shifts so readily and frequently – it requires regular check-ins. Hence, reevaluating, rebranding, and resolving will be recurring throughout my life.
This need not be drastic or overcomplicated. I need to not beat myself up for any mistakes I made – mistakes happen. Reevaluating here and now tells me where I am. Rebranding is part of how I get to where I desire to go. And resolving lets me put an end to what doesn’t serve me now to go where I strive to go.
I do not doubt that others go through this. Particularly other writers, artists, and creatives. Am I up for this? Of course, because this IS life.
That can be approached from a place of dread or excitement. And to be fair – both, sometimes. But the choice is mine.
I am willing. I’ve got this. And I have amazing tools and support to make it fly.
Thanks for coming along.
This is the one-hundred and fifty-fourth article exploring the ongoing creative process. Please take a moment to check out the collection of my published works, which can be found here.
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